What Are Sisters For?
by MauMauKa
Summary: Tired of her brother's moping, Jackie Jensen decides to take things into her own hands.


_**A/N: This one is for Jensen's Petunia. I got the idea from listening to the song when I was driving to work, and I thought, "I bet JP would love this!" So here you are, and I hope I'm right. ;-D Maumauka**_

**Magnificent Bitch, or What Are Sisters For?**

"See? There he is; all Mexican hotness and bad-_hic!-_badasshery. Now you tell me how I'm shupposed to tell a guy like that I love him. He'll kill me. Nobody will ever find my remains." Jensen pouted down into his drink, his gaze unfocused. Jackie rolled her eyes in exasperation, even as she patted his arm. Cougar was at the bar, ordering another glass of tequila and Jackie had to admit her inebriated brother was right. Some men should never wear leather pants, because doing so destroyed the peace of mind of everyone in the room. Combined with a white shirt, a leather vest and his trademark Hat, Cougar wasn't just sexy, he was _XXX__2__._ He was flanked on one side by a busty redhead and on the other by a lithe dark-haired man, and both of them were trying to get his attention.

"I realize it's intimidating Jake, but you have to tell him. I'm tired of watching both of you suffer."

"Whaddaya mean _both_ of us?!" Jensen turned and stared at her like she was insane. "LOOK AT HIM. DOES HE LOOK LIKE HE'S SUFFERING?!"

"_Shhh!"_ hissed Jackie. "Keep your voice down! He's just getting another drink. He's not flirting with either of them, I promise."

"Why not?" Jensen mumbled as he slugged back the rest of his drink. "One has boobs, which I don't have. And the other is younger and prettier. And then there's me."

"Stop it!" Jackie smacked him. She hated it when he lapsed into self-pity. Especially since she was 99.999% certain Cougar felt the same way. Pride had kept him from speaking, but Jackie had seen how he looked at her brother often enough; every time they stayed at her house, in fact. He seemed to be waiting for Jake to make the first move, but Jake had—for God knew what reason—turned into a complete wuss.

"Wish I could sing" Jensen burped miserably. "Then I could tell him with karaoke. That would be romantic, huh? Have you ever heard him sing, Jacks? It's just…_uhhhh!"_ Jensen put his head down on his arms. "God hates me."

Jackie grinned to herself. She had just had, to use one of her brother's own phrases, a SUPER BRILLIANT IDEA!

She waited until Cougar had gotten his drink and was making his way back to the table. Murmuring an excuse about needing to go to the ladies' room, she gave Jake a final pat and got up. As she passed Cougar, she engaged the sniper in a brief whispered conversation. His eyebrows flew up and he glanced at where Jensen slumped at their table. Jackie nodded vigorously and gestured at the stage at the front of the club, where a pimply guy was singing an off-key rendition of "Margaritaville".

When she got back from the ladies' room, Jackie poked her brother in the ribs and he jerked upright. "What? Leemee alone. I want to mope."

"Cougar's going to sing you a song"

"Yeah, right."

"He is. I asked him to. I told him how much you liked his voice."

"Shit!" Jensen groaned again. "Thanks a lot! Now he's gonna think I'm this perverted weirdo."

"He _already_ thinks that, and he still likes you. I think you should listen to the song."

Onstage, the kid finished singing and handed the microphone off to Cougar. Cougar blew into it "Okay? _Bueno."_

A piano began to play, softly and the effect on Jensen was electric. Jackie had to grab his arm and hold tight to keep him from leaping out of his seat. "YOU TOLD HIM TO SING _THAT?!"_

"Yes. Now sit down and shut up."

Cougar took a deep breath and began:

_I know just how to whisper  
And I know just how to cry  
I know just where to find the answers  
And I know just how to lie  
I know just how to fake it  
And I know just how to scheme  
I know just when to face the truth  
And then I know just when to dream _

Cougar's voice, with its perfect pitch, its intimate inflections, and its sinfully sexy accent rolled over the crowd and all conversation stopped. Every eye was riveted on the stage. Jensen's eyes were so enormous they seemed to strain beyond the edges of his glasses. Cougar smiled and continued._  
_  
_And I know just where to touch you  
And I know just what to prove  
I know when to pull you closer  
And I know when to let you loose  
And I know the night is fading  
And I know the time's gonna fly  
And I'm never gonna tell you  
Everything I gotta tell you  
But I know I gotta give it a try_

And I know the roads to riches  
And I know the ways to fame  
I know all the rules  
And I know how to break 'em  
And I always know the name of the game  
  
_But I don't know how to leave you  
And I'll never let you fall  
And I don't know how you do it  
Making love out of nothing at all_

Jackie couldn't help bouncing in her seat. The way Cougar was looking at Jake was enough to burn the whole building down to the foundations. Even her dimwitted, drunk sibling could not miss the desire that poured from the sniper's voice. It was even starting to get _her_ a little hot and bothered. Trust Cougar to take a song from a band like Air Supply and make it sound so goddamn _erotic._

"It's wrong, you know. This was the song _I _always wanted to sing to _him."_ Jensen hiccupped. His eyes seemed to be getting watery at the corners.

"I told him that, too."

"I know."

_Everytime I see you all the rays of the sun  
Are streaming through the waves in your hair  
And every star in the sky is taking aim at your eyes  
Like a spotlight_

The beating of my heart is a drum and it's lost  
And it's looking for a rhythm like you  
You can take the darkness from the pit of the night  
And turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

I've gotta follow it 'cause everything I know  
Well it's nothing till I give it to you!

"Jake, are you _crying?"_

"No."

"Yes you are. Don't lie."

"I love you, Jacks, you magnificent bitch. You're a goddess."

"I know that, too." Jackie grinned and took her brother's hand. "He loves you, Jake. He always has."_  
_

The song ended, and Cougar bowed himself off to thunderous applause and a hundred female voices screaming for an encore. When he reached their table, he said "_Entiende, idiota__?" _ Noticing Jensen's tears, he gently removed the hacker's glasses and began wiping his face with a spotless white handkerchief.

."Stop it. S'nothing. I spilled Margarita in my eye." Jensen glared up at the sniper but made no move to push him away. In his tone deaf voice, he sang the last verses back to Cougar, knowing that his own words would never make sense.

_I can make the runner stumble  
I can make the final block  
And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle  
I can make all the stadiums rock  
I can make tonight forever  
Or I can make it disappear by the dawn  
I can make you every promise that has ever been made  
I can make all your demons be gone_

But I'm never gonna make it without you  
Do you really want to see me crawl  
And I'm never gonna make it like you do  
Making love out of nothing at all

"No need to crawl, _amor._ Unless you want to."

"Kinky bastard. Jensen laughed a little shakily. "Wanna blow this joint and go somewhere more interesting?"

"If you insist" Cougar, smiling that lazy smile that made Jensen's insides turn to mush.

Jackie waved them off and ordered another drink. Jake was right. She _was_ a magnificent bitch. Now if she could just do something about Clay and Roque…


End file.
